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Image 1: a tweet by @/RaeOfStarShine "Rae" which says "Autism on TV: I say insulting things to people and when they are upset I argue with their logic instead of apologising. Autism in real life: a friend hasn't spoken to me in a few days so I am analysing everything I have ever said to them in case it was rude and they hate me now".
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#tv characters with autism always seem to carry this unshakeable confidence in themselves #like they've never been truly rejected by people they cared about
#whereas every autistic person i know myself included
#has at some point had to internalise the message 'there is a line at which people will get sick of you.'
#this line is invisible and you don't know which of your natural behaviours push you closer to that line #and which are fine to do and help build relationships
#so you had a childhood of just being constantly surprised when suddenly you find the line
#and it's a bad surprise because now you've lost something or someone you care about and it's your fault #you might not be able to get it back either - you just have to accept that life is like stumbling through a minefield in the dark
#sometimes you'll get to the other end. sometimes you'll lose an arm or a leg. and you have no idea which or when.
#and this means that a lot of us do the logical thing and don't move
#we don't socialise we don't stand out we don't show any sliver of personality in case that's the step that blows us up
#we toe the ground so carefully hoping we'll be able to pick up on the danger before we die from it
#but there'll always be those you don't see coming
#and then you end up lonely and people tell you to make friends you have to be yourself
#being yourself is synonymous with deciding to just start running. you know you *could* in theory do it. #but your body's so aware of the danger it physically won't let you
#so what now?
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